Sense of Contemporary Humor

A Pandemic Missive

Whole Foods out of gluten-free multi-grain.

Balthazar with fewer than ten patrons at high noon on a Thursday.

Bagatelle brunch cancelled.

Bicoastal media elites in boots and knee-high mud upstate.

SoHo House closed until further notice—credits will of course be emailed for redemption upon reopening. When—not if.

Cognitive dissonance entombs the island of Manhattan, that giant outpost of granite in the Atlantic Ocean which is normally so beautifully fluid and flowing is today ground to a halt by something we can’t even see.

COVID-19 is the technical term, but all the kids are calling it Corona. The beer brand is livid.